When it rains- it pours.....

As a child I was terrified of storms. The amount of power and strength they hold were something that gave me great fear. But as I got older I found that not all rain turns into a storm. I remember being 16 sitting outside at night watching as lightening and thunder approached our house. I sat there outside on the pavement in the dark with my dad and brother. My mother called from the window telling us to get inside. And yet I was in great awe of this monster as it approached. We stayed outside- even while the rain fell. What a great source of relief a good rain is. Even to this day I enjoy going outside while the rain falls all around me; I found it to be a time of peace for me. Most people are quickly scurrying inside to avoid the rain, which seems like common sense, but for those people who want to truly enjoy a moment of peace- there's nothing like standing outside as the rain pours.

This thought occurred to me today after I spoke with my mother on the phone. It amazes me how people grow and change- and sometimes during that change- you feel like it's pouring rain!!!

She called me sounding so very calm and happy. I couldn't be happier that my mother was sounding so well. I also wondered what this call meant. In the past- calls were made to update on the cancer and about any news we were getting. But on a Sunday??? Well- it just seemed odd to me. She said, "I know I told you in the e-mail about the fire burning by our house and the evacuation notice we are on but I didn't tell you about something else that happened this morning. We went to the E.R." (Just a note- please keep my parents in prayer- as they now have a wildfire burning in their area- about a mile away- if the wind shifts it could make it up the mountain to there home that they just bought) I didn't know what to say so I said nothing. "But it wasn't me who was in the E.R.- it was dad" she went on to say. I joked as only our family knows how to do in such a time saying, "Does dad need attention? Is that why he went??" But no- it wasn't for the need of attention- as I know my father to be the sort of man who's LAST resort is going to the E.R. I saw the man stitch his own finger up as a child- so this must be pretty serious to go to the E.R. My mother informed me that she woke up to my father making strange groaning noises. He had labored breathing and said his heart was beating extremely fast. My mother questioned him on whether to call 911 or rush him to the E.R.- which is 30 mins. away! My father chose the E.R. and my mother said she made it in record time- I'm not sure how much time she shaved off but she got him there in under 30 minutes.

He was brought into the E.R. and immediately taken into a room to be evaluated. After many tests and some medicine given through an I.V. they ruled out a heart attack. This is the point where I was finally able to breathe a big sigh of relief. They said they didn't know what caused his heart to beat at 190 beats per minute and his blood pressure to drop so low...but that the medicine worked to bring everything back to normal and stabilize him. They sent them off with some medicine in case it happened again and he returned home tired and ready for a nap.

So when I thought on it- I thought- really???? I mean- Breast cancer was enough for me- but now a fire threatening their newly purchased home- and my father's, out of the blue, heart issue?! I was floored- I haven't had so much as a cold to complain about and here my parents are miles away and having to deal with new issues. These are things I wish to be a part of- I want to be there to watch my mother go through chemo- to help her when she feels ill, to clean up vomit if I have to and to just be there and watch over her. I want to be there to take my father to the E.R.- to sit by his side and hold his hand. I want so badly to be near them- not to just visit but to be there- I long to be there- I feel so removed and useless here- trapped.

When it rains- it pours- but out of that pouring rain come growth- the grass, flowers and trees grow. We NEED the rain....even the rain in our lives. It may be painful and not the route we would have choosen for our lives to go but it has a purpose. It causes us to grow- we can choose how we want to grow- grow angry- grow distant etc.... Or we can choose to grow in Christ- to let Him hold us up when we are weary, to dive into His Word and cling to all the promises He has written, and to cast all our worries on Him because He cares for us.

1 Peter 5:7

"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."