First of all- I would like to express my gratitude to all of you who have been praying for my mother and our family. It is such a blessing to know that we have such a large support group during this time.
I called my mother yesterday morning- anxious to hear any news. But as I suspected- they didn't have any news for me. Oh this being patient thing is REALLY hard sometimes. But what a blessing to find an e-mail from my mother in my inbox this morning with the subject line reading, "update on mom." So bypassing all other forwards and e-mails I opened her e-mail. I don't know what I expected to read- if it was going to be good or bad news- but I was prepared for some of what I read. Not so much for other parts....
Now to the results....
My mother said they went to see her regular dr. regarding the biopsy results. It appears there are cancer cells in both of the biopsies from the breast and also a trace in the lymph node that was also biopsied. As far as surgery goes- it appears the date is still set for July 31st. Although we won't know to what extent the surgery will be until after she has her consultation with the surgeon next week. They don't know what stage the cancer is yet- apparently that is something they will find out after the surgery is done and they get the pathology reports back. But her dr. did say that he thought that they may have caught it early.
I suppose I was ready for that news...I had at least prepared myself for that part. But here's what I wasn't prepared for or ready to accept yet: most likely she will be undergoing chemo and radiation. Now I know that with cancer those words are somewhat 'expected'. But ever since I heard about the cancer I have been hearing from others around me that a lot of times you can just do a mastectomy without needing chemo or radiation. I suppose I was banking on that to happen for her. But again, I'm not in control. It's a helpless feeling- I can't be with her to watch her go through this and I can't be there to sit with her when after the chemo she feels ill. I want so badly to be there for her and I can't. And I have to give that over to God- I know He will provide people to surround her during this time and be with her; just as I want to be. When I give over to worry and concern- which happens many times- I know that I'm not trusting wholly in God. It is then that I need to give back the concern and worry to God in prayer.
Philippians 4:6-7
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
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