Three Women....

I sat and watched the three women as they talked and joked about the possibility of having a crew cut by Christmas. You would think they were just ordinary women chatting away yet their topic of discussion was about the cancer they each were facing. Inside the door labeled "Chemo Treatment" sat three chairs and three bubbly women; one of them my mother. Each woman had a story and when one woman was finished with her treatment another woman seemed to come in as if on que to fill the empty seat. I watched as one woman excitedly plopped into the seat next to my mother exclaiming, "This is my last treatment ladies!" The women talked and left almost no room for silence in the room as the chemo was being delivered. I watched as my mother was receiving her own 'cocktail' of drugs as she leafed through a magazine. It seemed surreal to me- that I was actually there to see my mother receive this poison that was going to make her better. I couldn't help but take pictures to document EVERYTHING. I felt so honored to be a part of these woman's group and yet I was such an outsider. I listened as they talked about mouth sores, brittle nails, and the hope of their hair coming back. It was then I realized that I was not part of their group, even though they welcomed me in. I didn't have cancer and I don't know what it's like- I was an outsider.

Although I didn't belong- I chimed in when I could relate to anything that they spoke of. After some time my mother had finished her first I.V. drip of a clear drug Cyclophosphamide. This was given through her port-a-cath along with some saline solution. Then the nurse opened a box labeled with an orange tag: Chemotherapy inside was a bag that had a bright yellow label on it reading Chemotherapy Drug. Inside this bad was the rest of my mother's treatment- two large syringes filled with what looked like fruit punch. Upon closer examination the syringe read- Doxorubicin. This red liquid was attached to my mother's I.V. line and I watched as the nurse administered this second drug. The clear liquid quickly changed to red and suddenly disappeared as it entered her body. I glanced at my mother's face and waited for her face to change but she remained calm and unchanged through it all.

After the chemo. my mother asked if I wanted to go out around town- I thought to myself, "Does anything slow this woman down?!" It was cold and rainy/snowy so I thought it better to get her home and stay warm and dry inside the house. I made her some lunch and we ate and she rested on the couch. Not too long ago I saw her face grimace and I asked her if she was feeling okay. "Oh, just a little nauseas." And on she went about her day.

I feel so very blessed to be here with my parents. To be able to experience chemo. with my mother- to just be near her and give her hugs- countless hugs.

I am so very proud of my mother.